Disability Out and About

After much thought about what I should write about for this edition on Managing Behaviour, I've decided to focus on how children behave towards me and my wheelchair.

One of the things I love about working with children, is that they are not shy about expressing their ideas or reasons why I am in a wheelchair. A little girl at a school I helped in a few years ago told her friends it was because “she hasn't got enough meat on her legs”! When I was a child I was sitting on my aunt's lap and part of my body brace was showing. A little boy came up to my aunt and said “is it a doll?”.

In today's society, disabled people are out and about more and this leads to children becoming more used to seeing people in wheelchairs. There are a number of different ways I have noticed children watching me when I have been out. Some come up and just stare, while others look from a distance and hope nobody notices. Sometimes children whisper to each other and point then giggle a bit and I smile back. Some parents pull their children away if they start to point or ask questions, whereas other parents have brought their child over to ask why I am in a wheelchair, and this has started a conversation. I welcome this approach as it helps children (and the parents) to gain information and knowledge which helps the child to have a more confident and friendly manner. An open attitude towards people with special needs will help them in the future with integration and working with ‘different' people as they get older.

My helper has two daughters, of 5 ½ and 15 months. Jennah, the older one has been coming to our house since she was one and is now quite used to everything that my sister and I need to help us. She loves being our helper and knows how to turn our wheelchairs on for us, how to turn our ventilators on and off under supervision, and thinks it is fun to talk to us when we are wearing our masks. Both girls enjoy having rides on my footplate! My young cousins are all very at ease with Alexandra and me, and just chat to us normally. They all know that our ventilators help us to breathe better and like to see how our wheelchairs can do special things like going right up so we are taller than them! Jennah once asked me to fetch something for her, and when I said I wouldn't be able to reach it, she replied “oh yes, I forgot you were in a wheelchair”! I know there are many other children who grow up with this familiarity in their homes. It would be interesting to follow them into adulthood and find out what careers they choose as a result of their experiences.

Another way that children get used to meeting with disability is through having someone with special needs in their school. At my first school their was a special unit, but the disabled children were integrated into the mainstream classes. I think all my friends from school have grown up with a knowledge of what is involved in helping a disabled person.

One of the very special things about the Family Fun Days at Cobnor is that nobody stares at anybody and everyone is used to disability because they all share a similar home life. There is a great feeling of relaxation as there is no pressure to have to do anything or struggle to be somewhere. When you get to Cobnor you realise that you don't have to cope with people looking at you. No one questions what you can or can't do and it feels how the whole world ought to feel. Maybe it will one day as more and more children get used to seeing disabled people out and about.

Lizzie Baily lizzie@wellspringwestsussex.org.uk